Rollins Demons
by Michelleeades
Summary: Rollins has to face her past but can she uncover what had been buried for so long. This story is in no way connected to the writers of SVU and just my minds version of a fictional episode
1. Chapter 1

This is in no way connected to the writers or anyone to do with svu but is my own twisted minds attempt at fan fiction enjoy

Rollins Demons

Chapter 1

Rollins looked out at the New York grey skyline resting her head on the window pane, the coolness of the glass was a welcome intrusion into the thoughts spiralling around in her head. The rain bounced off the window sill and she watched intently at the erythematic beat, trying to lose herself in its calmness.

Her reprieve didn't last long and she hugged herself tightly and closed her eyes. Her mind replayed the scene in her sergeant's office, 'he raped me', was that her voice? It was barely a whisper, but she knew she had actually spoken the words when Olivia's head snapped round to look at her and Dodds went suddenly quiet. Her supressed demons had finally raised their ugly heads and every emotion she had tried hard to bury had resurfaced.

Chief Pattern the rapist in uniform, another woman had come forward and accused him of raping her, and Rollins knew it was true, for the man she use to look upon as a father figure had assaulted her also.

She was a wet nosed rookie at the time hungry with ambition, and he had seen that, had used her eagerness, ''you can come to me anytime Amanda, talk to me about anything, I know you will go far with a little help from someone like me" he had said to her resting his hands gently on her shoulders, and she had fell for it hook line and sinker, what a naïve fool she was, thinking that he would help her in her career and want nothing in return.

She shook herself out of her thoughts and picked up some paperwork hoping she could lose herself in the pages of work she had brought home, she swallowed back the tears that threatened to fall "You damn stupid fool" she said aloud.

Olivia sat in her office long after everyone else had gone home chewing the tip of her pen. Rollins confession had hit her like a ton of bricks, she faced this type of crime everyday but when it's one of your own well it becomes more personal. God she knew she hadn't always seen eye to eye with the girl, had even questioned herself on keeping her on when she had got into her last stint of trouble, trouble that could of cost her her badge, I'm going to try hard to regain your trust sergeant' she had said. Now everything was falling into place Rollins drinking, gambling etc were all coping mechanisms for what that animal had put her through. The look on her face was etched into Bensons mind, fear, shame, guilt causing a contortion of pain to show through. The Chief eh, one of the big guys, well with Rollins help she was going to make sure that he got what he had coming.

Benson threw her pen down on the desk and wearily got up from her chair, she had to get home to Noah, the one person who she loved without reservation and who loved her back unconditionally, her son, her solace.

CHAPTER 2

Rollins had sat in the chair all night trying to block out the memories of what had happened six years ago, but her mind had other ideas and played the scene over and over again like the re-run of an old movie.

"Chief Patterson what are you doing here, is there something wrong"?  
>"No No, I hope you don't mind I got your address from your files and I wanted to tell you first hand there is a position up for grabs, promotion, more money and I think you should apply".<p>

A Promotion? I don't understand I didn't think I would be inline for promotion I've not been at the department long enough, what position"? Rollins asked as she invited him in.  
>Patterson put his hands out, "woah not so fast you not gonna offer the bearer of good news a drink first"?<br>"Sure, erm sorry would you like coffee".  
>"Have you got something a little stronger"? he asked, "been one hell of a day". "I think I have some Bourbon here somewhere" she said walking into the kitchen. She found the half empty bottle at the back of the cupboard and poured a glass, she turned to take in the drink and almost bumped into him, he was right behind her. She jumped and a little of the drink splashed on her hand and she licked the liquid off.<p>

Patterson focused on her tongue, she felt his stare and the Kitchen suddenly felt claustrophobic. "Shall we sit down"? she asked, nodding her head in the direction of the living room.  
>"Sure he said and followed her to the sofa where he sat next to her, a little too close she thought as she tried to shift a little further away.<p>

He didn't seem to be in any rush to explain what he wanted so Rollins broke the silence. "So whats this promotion all about"?  
>"Ah yes, you know Amanda I could help you a great deal in your carer, I can be a very good friend".<br>"Could you tell me what this is all about", it didn't feel right him using her first name it was a little too familiar, "I'm tired and have an early shift tomorrow".  
>Patterson lent forward and placed his empty glass on the coffee table, "It's not easy getting to the top, especially if your a woman", he said, "but friends" he continued, placing his hand on Rollins knee, "should help one another don't you agree Amanda".<p>

Her apartment suddenly felt very small as she removed his hand "I prefer to achieve via my own merits" she said, "now if you don't mind it's late and I have too..."  
>Before she could finish her sentence she felt herself pulled roughly back onto the sofa.<p>

"Now don't you be going all coy on me now, I don't like games, fluttering your eyelids at me in the office, and acting like a terrified virgin when I take you up on your invitation.

She pushed against his chest, could smell the Bourbon on his breath, and panic swelled in her chest. "Invitation", she repeated, "there was no invitation, you turned up here of your own accord, please Chief your hurting me". He gripped her chin and turned her head to put his tongue in her mouth, she thrashed with her arms and legs but he was too strong, her mind racing and fear pumping through her veins she bit down hard tasting his blood in her mouth as her teeth met.

"You bitch" he yelled "you filthy rotten slag". As he loosened his grip she jumped from the sofa and ran towards the bathroom, but he was there before her hand even touched the handle.

"So you like it rough you fucking tease", he lifted her effortlessly with one arm and carried her struggling towards her bedroom.  
>"No please Chief no", she cried as he threw her on the bed, but her tears were fruitless as he crushed her with the weight of his body.<br>She fought like a mad woman, but this just seemed to excite him further as his hand slowly traveled up her leg, finding her lace panties he groaned as he pushed them aside and forced his fingers inside her.

She felt the oxygen leave her lungs as the pain hit her, she punched at his chest but he just laughed and captured her wrist above her head with his free hand as the other hand violated her. When he removed his fingers she heard the sound of his zip and used every ounce of energy she had to try and get free, but he held her down as if she were a rag doll, she felt him shake his trousers off, she tried to scream but he just punished her mouth with his causing her teeth to cut through her lips.

She felt his hardness against her leg and suddenly her mind shut down, she just felt numbness as he thrust himself into her without any mercy.  
>"You like that baby, does it feel good" he said as he hit harder and harder at her most vulnerable place. He pulled out suddenly and slammed her face down onto the mattress. "We don't want this hole to feel left out now do we honey", he whispered in her ear. The pain almost made her pass out as he took possession of a place no one had ever been.<p>

After what seemed like eternity she heard his breath quicken as he finally released his seed inside her. She still lay face down on the bed the choking on the tears she cried.

She heard him dress, he came over and slapped her on the backside, "you got a tight little arse there girl". She flinched as she felt him touch her. "Now you know you wanted it so don't you go calling out rape", he said, "No one would believe you and you would be committing career suicide you hear me"?

Rollins laid in the same position for what seemed like ages, when she moved she buckled with the pain she was in and fell back on the bed. Getting under the covers she pulled them tightly around her and from nowhere came a scream of anguish as she buried he head into the pillow and sobbed until her eyes were so swollen she could barely open them.


	2. Chapter 3

The sun shone through the window as if the night had rolled into day without her noticing.

Struggling to get up Rollins held onto the bedside cabinet for support winching with pain she made her way into the Bathroom.

Turning on the tap to bath she slid to the floor and watched as spool spiral pools formed in the water, she used this to focus on while her mind struggled to accept what had happened the night before.

Crawling to the toilet she just made it as wave after wave of nausea washed over her and the stomach cramping heaves made the pain she felt even worse. Eventually the vomiting stopped and she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

Rollins pushed herself up from the basin and came face to face with herself in the mirror. The image looking back at her was pale and her lips cracked from the force there had been put under but apart from this the reflection looking back at her was just Rollins. She expected to look different, how different she didn't know, maybe 'rape' etched into her skin or two heads or something, she sure felt different but by looking at her no one would have known what had taken place in her apartment just a few short hours ago, maybe this was just some crazy nightmare!

As she towelled dried her body she couldn't escape what had happened as the towel came into contact with her most intimate parts and she gulped back tears that stung her eyes. Slowly she allowed her hand to replace the towel and she gentle felt herself, although she couldn't see she knew there was swelling and bruising, "this didn't happen" she kept telling herself as if repeating it would make the tell-tale signs on her body disappear.

About to climb back into bed and lick her wounds she stopped in her tracks as her phone rang. She Knew it would be work wondering why she wasn't in yet thinking of ignoring it she changed her mind knowing that someone would come by to see if she was ok.

"Rollins" she said into the receiver as she tried to control the tremor in her voice. "What's the excuse this time Rollins" her sergeant bellowed down the line, "this continual lateness is going on your file unless you get your butt in here right now". "Feeling a little under the weather today Serge", tears once again threaten at the harshness of his voice. She just couldn't cope with any other type of assault now, not even verbal. "You get your butt in today Rollins, dilute the alcohol your put away last night and be here in half hour or look for another career, you hear me"? And he hung up.

With her career on the line Rollins had no choice, she got dressed picked up her keys and headed for the office. The nearer she got the more she trembled, she had to grip the steering wheel until her knuckles went white to stop them from shaking.

As she entered the old building she walked straight into something hard "sorry" she mumbled as hands reached out to steady her. "Steady there Rollins" she heard him say and instantly her body froze. "Why so fast" said Chief Patterson, "do you have the devil himself chasing you"?

With that her head snapped up and she could see the warning in his eyes. Rollins composed herself as best she could "sorry Chief" she said in a near normal voice. "You could well be" he replied for her ears only and then winked as he left her standing like a rabbit caught in headlights in the middle of the foyer.

"I can't do this" she heard herself say as the room started to spin. Voices of concern faded out as her body final succumbed to the darkness engulfing her.


	3. Chapter 4

Rollins Demons chapter 4

When Rollins came round there were a swirl of faces in front of her, and someone's jacket under her head. She groaned as she tried to stand up and the room spun causing her to stumble.

She felt a hand under her arm steadying her and instantly pulled away.

"God Rollins," came her sergeant's voice, "I didn't realise you were this bad, thought you had just over done it last night, now I feel like a pig for forcing you to come in".

"Its ok", she reassured him, "I think I got some sort of bug".

"Yeah you do look pale" her long-time friend Viv replied "Maybe you should let someone drive you home".

"Ok Viv, drive her home and keep me updated said her Sergeant, gonna miss the Chief's visit to our department later but I will explain."

At the mention of his name Rollins felt the room spin once more before Viv put her arm around her shoulder and walked her out to where she had parked the car.

The drive back to Rollins apartment was made in silence with the odd look of concerning from Viv. Once inside Viv asked "you want me to call a doctor, you went down with quite a bump, frightened the life out of me." She shook her head "no I will be fine after some rest, thanks Viv but you can go now I will be fine."

"You're not fine I can tell" Viv replied, "look at you you're a dribbling mess, what's going on Amanda you know you can tell me anything."

Rollins bit her lip and contemplated relaying what had taken place in this very apartment and then thought better of it, even though she had known her best friend for over 10 years she couldn't bring herself to utter the words 'I was raped'.

"Nothing, I just feel like shit" she said instead, "a good night's rest is all I need."

Viv didn't look like she believed her but she let the matter drop. "You know Jimmy from narcotics told me there is an opening in SVU in New York and was thinking of going for it, I never thought he would leave he loves his job."

Rollins was pleased that Viv had changed the subject and tried to make her voice sound brighter "Jimmy won't go nowhere, he's married to narcotics" she smiled.

Viv gave her friend a kiss on the cheek, "if you feel worse or you wanna talk about anything you know where I am." Rollins nodded her head as she see Viv to the door.

Rollins stood under the shower letting the water splash against her face, trying to wash away the memories of what had happened the night before. 'Do you have the Devil himself is chasing you' she heard his voice say. It was the Devil himself she thought as she dried herself off and she was in hell.

She paced the small living area for hours before she was finally exhausted enough to sleep, she had put fresh sheets on the bed and thrown the other ones out she didn't want any reminders of what had happened she had plenty of them on her silly painful body. I can't go back there she thought to herself as she drifted into a fitful slumber.

You Bitch, you filthy rotten slag, she heard his zip and felt the pressure of him on top of her, she felt suffocated and punched and struggled as he finally violated her NO NOOOOOOOOOOO she screamed. Sitting bolt upright in bed she tried to calm her erratic heart beat the nightmare had caused. Her pyjamas were stuck to her body as her hair was to her face and she threw the quilt back as she got up and made her way unsteadily to the kitchen.

Sitting at the kitchen counter in the dark she knew that she couldn't go back no more, could face him every day and act as if nothing had happened. He had already let her know that her career was over anyway if she so much as hinted that something had happened. All she had wanted since she was little was to be a cop and he had not just taken her most vulnerable self but her dreams as well.

Sipping at her water she recalled what Viv had said, a position at SVU had become available and a new life started taking shape in her head.


	4. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The following morning Rollins was awoken by the shrill of her phone. "Rollins" she said sleepily, "how you feeling this morning" came her sergeants voice "I feel like an arse calling you in and you passing out like that."

"Still feeling pretty fuzzy headed" Rollins replied, she needed time off to sort out what she was doing next.

"You take the rest of this week off, and see a bloody Doctor" he ordered down the phone, "Yes serge thank you serge" she replied meekly and pushed the end call button.

Getting out her Computer she looked on the vacancies listed on the SVU website. After reading the job description she knew she had the attributes needed but did she have the experience? She chewed on her bottom lip, she had to try she couldn't stay where she was…. Not now anyway.

Filling in the online application she hit send before she could change her mind, if this didn't pan out then she would have to think of something else, she knew that she couldn't face bumping into the chief at any time, she could barely cope with what happened let alone coming face to face with the cause of her nightmares on practically a weekly basis.

Looking at the clock she realised it was still early only 8 am but she needed a drink, just something to take the edge off how she was feeling, pouring herself a good shot of vodka she sat at the counter zipping her drink and praying that her personality would shine through in her application and help diminish her lack of experience.

Before she knew it she had practically finished the bottle of vodka and felt somewhat dizzy. Rising from the counter she stumbled a little before bracing herself on the work surface, carefully she made her way to the bathroom where she relinquished what she had drunk down the toilet.

Apart from purchasing necessaries she barely left her apartment, she had bought a few more bottles of alcohol, 'just to help me sleep' she thought to herself as she poured herself another tumbler full.

She spent the days laying on the sofa, not bothering to dress with the TV on in the back ground to take away the deafening silence of her own company and thoughts. Viv rung a few times but Rollins preferred to ignore the calls she didn't want to talk to anyone. She heard the post drop through the letterbox and land amongst the rest of the mail laying on the floor, she tutted to herself but thought she better go look see if there was anything important.

Pushing herself up into a standing position she felt sick, she hadn't bothered with her appearance and her hair hung limp and lifeless around her shoulders, she swayed towards the front door and using the wall for support slid down and reached out to collect her mail.

"Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish" she said throwing letters across the room until suddenly her hands stilled and she slowly got up and walked towards the sofa. She looked at the envelope with both a mixture of dread and excitement and her hands shake as she rips it open.

For a moment her eyes wouldn't focus and the words were blurred as she quickly scanned the page, then she thought she had read wrong and closed her eyes and prayed she hadn't. She looked again and there in black and white was an invitation to attend an interview with SVU in New York.

Her eyes filled with tears as she finally saw a chance, if only a small one, of getting away from here to a place where no one knew her, no one would ask what was wrong, a fresh start. She wiped away a tear that had fallen to her cheek as she replied accepting the offer of an interview and knowing right at that moment that she was going to hand in her notice, new job or no new job


	5. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Rollins emailed her resignation to her department without hesitation knowing that she couldn't return not with him there and instantly felt a weight lift from her shoulders.

It wasn't long before her phone started ringing first her sergeant demanding to know what was going on, "I'm sorry serge but I've made up my mind, I have personal issues that I don't want to go into." "You know you could come and talk to me about anything don't be hasty Rollins just take some time to think about things". She remember the Chief remembering similar words, "No, there's nothing to talk about" she replied "say goodbye to the gang for me serge, this is just something I need to do.

After a little more time trying to convince Rollins to change her mind and deciding it was futile the call was ended with "well good luck Rollins I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for, you can count on me for a good reference whatever it is." As soon as she hung up Viv's name flashed up on her screen.

"Hi Viv". "What the hell is going on Amanda, I've just been told you've handed in your papers," Viv sounded hurt and confused. "I was gonna call you" she replied I just feel I need a change" Rollins consoled her friend trying to keep her voice light. "There's something going on that you're not telling me about, and it all stems from that day you passed out," her friend continued. "There's nothing going on" Rollins lied "you know me I can't stick at one thing for too long without wanting to move on." After trying to convince her friend that all was ok and agreeing to meet for dinner that evening she hung up the phone. Viv was going to be the one she would miss the most she thought to herself sadly she wasn't looking forward to this dinner and the thought of lying to Viv's face, but she knew there was not going back whatever her best friend said.

Monday morning arrived and Rollins jumped in the taxi to take her to the airport for her flight to New York, feeling sick with nerves she checked in and went to the bar to order a vodka, 'just to calm myself down' she thought to herself. Dinner with Viv was hard, she wasn't one to give in easy and it took most of the evening to convince her that nothing was wrong and it was just another one of Rollins whims. The two friends hugged and tears were shared along with a promise to keep in touch, Rollins was going to miss her with a passion.

New York was busy and loud as she made her way by cab the hotel she had booked, she liked the hustle of the city she felt she could lose herself in crowd, absorb herself in the heart of the place and everything that happened in Atlanta would become a distant memory.

Dressed in what she deemed to be I'm the best for this job' outfit, her stomach was in knots as she waited to be called in for her interview.

"Amanda Rollins" a middle aged woman called out, Rollins got to her feet, "they will see you now" she said opening a door and gesturing for her to go inside. Taking in the three men sitting behind a desk Rollins hands trembled as she closed the door.

When Rollins left the building it was raining and she quickly headed for the nearest bar. She felt like she had been bulldozed by a hundred buses, asked question after question about how she felt she could benefit the department, what she would do in these circumstance what she would do in those circumstance etc etc, with each of the interviewers scrutinizing her unblinkingly while she gave her answers.

There was one man on the panel who had gentle eyes and gave her time to collect her thoughts before answering his questions, his name was Cragen or something like that, he seemed to be happy with her answers, she wasn't so sure about the other two.

She ordered a drink at the bar which she felt she well deserved after being grilled for over an hour, before she knew it 3 hours had passed and there were 6 empty glasses in front of her. Making her way unsteadily outside she hailed a taxi back to her hotel, where she promptly emptied the contents of her stomach in the bathroom and passed out on the sofa.

She awoke to the sound of her mobile phone ringing, fumbling around she found the annoying object behind a cushion. "Rollins" she mumbled down the phone. "Running away are we Amanda," said the voice at the other end of the line. All at once her body started to shake and her mouth went dry. "W-what do you want," she managed to utter once her tongue had come unstuck from the roof of her mouth, "why are you ringing me? Just leave me alone" she begged.

"Oh don't flatter yourself honey", came the Chief's reply "I don't want you, you wasn't that good anyway," he growled with a low mocking laugh. "Just ringing to wish you well in your future and to remind that I'm only a flight away, so if you're planning on saying anything stupid, don't, I will crush you like an ant underfoot." "I'm not planning on saying anything, do you think I want anyone to know that you forced yourself inside me, I feel sick every time I think about it, you keep your distance from me, don't contact me, and it will remain a sick dream deal?" she asked. Another low laugh escaped his lips as he replied "deal, and oh Rollins don't think on going back on our arrangement" and the line went dead.

She grasped the covers tightly round her hoping they would protect her from the fear and revulsion of the man she use to think of as a father.

Now after to her amazement getting the job at SVU he was back and so were her nightmares. He had done to another what he had done to her and she didn't think she could cope with the turmoil of emotions she was experiencing, she was facing the fight or flight predicament and didn't know which one she was going to go with.


	6. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The next morning Rollins felt all eyes were on her, she knew this would happen, the look of sympathy from her colleagues. This is what she didn't want to happen, she didn't want to be looked at differently, she didn't feel like Amanda the detective anymore she was now 'Amanda the one who was raped, the victim.'

Walking into her sergeant's office she cleared her throat with a little cough. Olivia looked up from the paperwork on her Desk and smiled a friendly smile. "Close the door Rollins and take a seat."

Rollins twisted her hands nervously as she waited for the conversation she knew was going to happen. Liv looked at her with concern, "how you doing Amanda?" Rollins looked at the floor.

"I- I don't know if I can do this," Rollins replied, "I tell victims all the time that having their day in court brings some sort of closure for them, but I don't think I can do it."

" I know this is going to be tough" her sergeant replied, "but you know he raped again, in fact we don't know how long he's been getting away with this or how many victims haven't come forward." "But you know as well as I do this has to done, in order to stop him, in order to gain justice and put this bastard where he belongs behind bars."

"I know what I'm supposed to do Serge, but to get up on that stand and open myself up to his lies, his sneers, who's going to believe me." "I'm just a bundle of nerves, waiting for his next move, who knows what his capable of."

Olivia walked around her desk and balanced herself on the edge of it and took Rollins hand. "I believe you, the squad believes you and the Jury will believe you, I will put a unit on you until this is over, I won't let that bastard anywhere near you, you hear?"

Olivia could feel the tremble in Rollins hand, could see the difficulty she was having in not shedding the tears that were glistening in her eyes. Her heart went out to her, she wanted to hug her to send her home and tell her just to forget about what happened but she knew she couldn't do that.

"Go home Rollins, get some rest, I will come over after work, I will ask the nanny to stay a little longer with Noah and we can talk this over."

Rollins got to her feet grateful that Olivia was sending her home, she didn't think she could deal with the concerned looks from her team, not today. "Thanks Serge, I will see you this evening."

Rollins walked out of the office straight into a commotion in the middle of the squad room. She could hear Fins voice. A crowd had gathered and she wondered who he was angry at when she caught sight of him. The colour faded from her skin and she reached for the wall to steady herself, just then she felt an arm go around her waist forcing her back into the office.

"What the hell you doing here?" Fin yelled, "Get the hell out of this building or help me God I will throw you out on your arse and I don't give a damn if it costs me my Job."

Danny was backing Fin all the way and had stood staring at the Chief with a look of anger and disgust etched into every feature.

"You heard my boys," came the growl of their Sergeant, "get out before I release their leashes."

"I don't know what lies that girl or Rollins have told you," Chief Patton shouted, "No statements have been made against me just ugly rumours, don't that tell you something?" Then looking through the Glass of Olivia's office he continued, "I treated you like a daughter Amanda, tell these fools that they are making a mistake."

The plea to anyone else would have been heartfelt but the look in his eyes when they met Rollins through the glass of the office told another story. Cold and emotionless they chilled her to the bone.

"You are trying to intimidate a witness and counsel isn't going to think to highly of you throwing your weight around in her," Olivia's voice cut through the air like ice, "I suggest you leave before I cuff you here and now and get the greatest amount of pleasure doing so".

Patton looked over at Liv and with steel in his voice replied "you fool, don't you know who I am, I could take you and the whole of this crumby department down, you will be picking up litter off the street by the time I'm finished."

Liv met his stare unwaveringly "do you know your way out or do you need some help"? Fin and Danny moved in closer ready to heed their sergeant's order the moment she gave it.

"Damn fools" said Patten as he turned on his heels and made his way out of the squad room.

Rollins came out of the office and sat down at her desk, still shaking and looking pale. Olivia smiled encouragingly at her, "I will be over this evening in the meantime Fin will take you home." "I will arrange a car to sit outside your apartment for as long as this takes, it's going to be ok trust me."

"He's running scared Fin said too Rollins in the car on the drive home, don't let him get to you, you know we would never let anyone hurt you baby girl." Rollins gave him a weak smile as she got out at her apartment. She could see a squad car parked outside but this didn't dim the feeling of foreboding flooding her body, she knew that if he wanted to get to her he would, squad car or now squad car.


	7. Chapter 8

I would like to thank you all for your reviews you have all been very kind so here's a little update only a sort one but a lot more to come.

Chapter 8

Rollins had been in for just ten minutes when her mobile rang, presuming it would be Olivia confirming what time she would be over she didn't bother to check the number.

"Hi Sergeant just got home". "Amanda" came the response. Rollins froze when she recognised the caller. "Don't call me again," she was about to hang up the phone when Chief Patton quickly started talking, "Amanda, why are you doing this?" "You know how much I care about you, I know you feel pressured into giving an account of what happened that night," he continued, "but think of the damage this would course, this will end with only one winner ME."

Before he could go any further Rollins found her voice, "Winner, is that would you call yourself, this is all a game too you isn't it, first me than that other poor detective and God knows how many more, well this is one you won't win, I'm making a statement first thing in the morning and everyone will know exactly who you are."

A low laugh crackled down the line, "You idiot, don't you know that you're committing career suicide, you will be labelled what you really are, a blonde nobody sleeping with her boss to further her prospects."

Rollins anger surfaced and she repeated, "Don't ever call this number again, the next time you hear my voice will be when I give evidence telling the world how you use your position to rape girls because you think your title and uniform allows it, well when this is finished you will have no title or uniform." With that she hung up the phone.

Rollins lent her back against the door for support, this telephone call had taken everything out of her, how was she going to stand up in court and do this?

At 6.30pm she heard the door bell and looked through the spy hole to see her Sergeant standing there. "Come in Serge" I was just making a coffee want one?" " We're not in the office now so call me Liv, you look pale you ok?"

"I'm fine Serge, erm Liv," Rollins replied, "apart from having Patton on the phone trying to intimidate me into not making a statement".

"He has your number, did he threaten you?" Liv stepped further into the apartment a look of concern on her face.

"The usual" Rollins grimaced, "career suicide, looking like a desperate idiot trying to sleep her way to the top, and as for my number I've never changed it."

"Maybe you should", Liv replied you don't need to hear the kind of bullshit he's going to lay at your door, but you know there's only one way to stop him don't you," looking into the younger girls eyes she tried to will all her strength into the body of Rollins do or say anything to make her see that this bastard had to be locked up, and Rollins needed to help in ensuring that would happen..

Rollins stood still with the kettle in her hand took a deep breath and said "I'm going to do it, I'm going to make a statement and see that animal wither in the court room, I've finished with hiding it, trying to put it to the back of mind, acting as if it never happened, it did, and its happened again and I'm gonna make sure that bastards pays for it."

"That's my girl," Liv said hugging Rollins close, you can do this and you don't have to do this alone, I'm gonna be with you every step of the way as will the rest of the squad, you step into that court house and show them what detective Rollins is all about. When Liv finally released Rollins from her hug both women had tears in their eyes, a bridge of understanding and admiration had been built between them. "Now about that coffee," Liv said as she sat at the kitchen counter


	8. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Rollins felt better knowing now what she was going to do, scared but determined to get justice for herself and any other victims of Chief Patton.

Leaving for work the following morning she decided to stop off and get doughnuts for the squad, as she pulled her car over to the kerb and got out she had a terrible feeling that she was being watched. She shook her self 'getting paranoid Amanda' she whispered under her breath and made her way into the shop.

Back in her car again she had that feeling of someone following her and looked through her mirror to see a small black car close behind her, she was sure the same car was parked outside her apartment when she came out this morning, remembered hearing the radio and looking across the road to see where the music was coming from. Not sure if she was being super sensitive she decided to find out if she was being followed.

She came to a Junction where she should of gone straight across but suddenly made a right turn, looking in her mirror she see the car swing wide to follow her. She pulled over to the kerb and got out at a newsagents, inside she bought a newspaper why looking through the shop window and sure enough the car had pulled up also, she could see the outline of a man at the steering wheel but had no idea who he was.

Getting back into her car she phoned Liv on her mobile. "Benson" Liv answered, "Serge, its Rollins, not sure if I'm having an attack of paranoia but I seem to have a tail, been following me since I left my apartment."

"Have you eye balled the driver?" Benson replied, feeling a little more than concern for her detective, "It's a male driver but don't recognise him" Rollins said. "Ok make your way home and stay there I will get Fin to come over and if he's still there he better have some good explanation as to why he following one of my squad."

"Serge, l'm nearer to the station than home, gonna try and get a registration number and run it through when I get in." "Ok Liv replied, I will get one of the guys to meet you outside, how long will you be?" "10 Minuets" Rollins responded and put down the phone.

At the next set of lights Rollins checked through her mirror and started to take down the registration of the vehicle following her, she managed to take down the first three digits when a horn blew causing Rollins to quickly look up, the lights had changed, pulling away she caught the vehicle swing to the next lane at the side of her. Looking straight in the driver's eyes he smirked as he pointed a gun and unloaded it straight at Rollins window. Ducking and slamming on her breaks she heard the glass shatter and the sound of screeching wheels just as she sat up in time to see the van in front of her. She had no way of avoiding the collision and the sound of the crunch of metal was the last thing she heard before the world went black.

Fin came back into the squad room after waiting outside 30 minutes, "You sure she said she was coming here and not going home, there's not sign of her."

Liv had a horrible feeling starting in the pit of her stomach as she replied "Right you come with me, let's see if she's at home." Fin nodded his own face matching the worry on his sergeants.

Five minutes from the station Liv and Fin could see the flashing lights on the other side of the road.

Reaching the scene Liv slowed down and looked over at the devastation. Then as if in sync both Liv and Fin mouthed "That's Rollins car." Pulling up and running over to where the ambulance, police and fire brigade were Liv flashed her badge. "That's my Detectives car, where is she, is she ok?" "The officer at the scene looked at the pair with sympathy in his eyes, "She had to be cut out of the wreck, ambulance are taking her now, they say it don't look good, we found bullets in the car, looks like someone tried to take her out".

Fin felt his stomach hit the floor and the anger build in his chest, looking at his Sergeant he said, "I swear I will get the bastard that did this." "You and me both" Liv said with tears in her eyes, go back to the squad let them know what's happened, I'm going to the hospital, meet me there, oh and Fin,"

Fin stopped and looked over his shoulder at Liv, "this is number one on our books, you get it, number one, and we don't stop until we get this son of a bitch."

At the hospital Liv pulled a doctor to the side and showed her badge, "one of my detectives was brought in, involved in a road collision." The doctor told her he would find out who was dealing with it and to take a seat. Liv couldn't sit, she paced the floor while her head raced, 'this has to have something to do with Patton', she thought to herself, who else would want Rollins Gone.

After wearing out the leather on her shoes for 20 minutes a doctor approached her, "are you here regarding Amanda Rollins?" he asked, "Yes I'm she sergeant Liv replied showing her badge, how is she?" "In surgery, she has a bleed on the brain probably caused by the impact, and we removed a bullet in her shoulder, its touch and go at the moment, we had to resus twice already, but she seems a fighter" the doctor replied trying to smile a confident smile.

Fin and Danny walked into the corridor just had the Doctor had finished talking to Liv, and from the look on her face they could tell this was serious, if Rollins died they were all thinking, and then shook the thought from their heads as it was too traumatic to think about.

The Three of them paced the corridor awaiting further news of their work colleague and friend, each lost with their own thoughts, but all three knowing that they wouldn't rest until they had the animal that did this.


	9. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

After what seemed like eternity a doctor in scrubs ushered the detectives into a side room.

"Well?" said Olivia. The doctor asked them to take a seat and you could hear the echo of their heart beats resounding of the walls, bracing themselves for bad news.

Olivia stood where she was facing the man in front of her, "I don't want to sit down, I just want to know how Rollins is," she said with a little more venom then she would have liked. She ran her fingers through her hair and looked as Fin and Dan, could see her fear reflected in their faces.

"She made it through the operation," the Doctor began, "We lost her once on the table but she's obviously a fighter as we managed to bring her back." The two detectives and their sergeant held their breath as he continued. "She alive but the next 24 hours are critical, if she makes it through the night then her chances of recovery increase."

"Can we see her?" Liv asked, she put her hands in her pockets to stop them from shaking, she had to stay strong for her squad if they were going to get through this.

"She's heavily sedated, but if just one of you want to go in just for a few minutes then that's fine, but you can rest assured we are doing everything we can for her."

Liv looked at her two detectives and they nodded their head in unison indicating that Olivia should be the one to go see Rollins.

"Don't let the machines worry you," said the doctor as he opened the door to Rollins room, "they are just monitoring her and letting us know how's she's doing."

Liv walked into the small room and looked at the person laying in the bed, her feet seemed to stick to the floor as she took in the frail body that seemed to be swallowed in wires laying against the white hospital pillow. Taking a steading breath she smiled at the doctor who left the room and closed the door behind him. Walking towards where Rollins lay, Liv took in the bandage around her head and the black and blue marks appearing on her over white skin and tears filled her eyes.

Rollins had been through so much these past few weeks and the sight of her looking so defenceless and vulnerable brought out the mothering side of Olivia.

The soft bleeping of the machines and the hiss of oxygen running through the mask attached to Rollins face dominated the room. Liv sat on the chair at the side of the bed and covered Amanda's hand with her own, feeling their coldness she instinctively began to rub them gently in order to warm them up.

"Oh Amanda I'm so sorry," Liv whispered to her detective, "I should of come and met you after your call I let you down." A tear left Olivia's eye and dripped onto the starch whited sheets. "But I promise you this, I will get the bastard that did this to you, and make them pay, just get better Amanda, we need you, your part of our family."

Rollins was locked into her state of unconsciousness as Liv stood a placed a kiss on her forehead, "don't you dare think of dying on us lady, you fight this, you are one of the strongest women I know" and then she quietly left the room and went in search of Fin and Dan, determination in her stride and in the look on her face.

She found them outside in the car park each with a tortured look on their faces, as they heard her footsteps they spun round to meet her gaze.

"We can either sink and let Rollins down, or we swim and go get the bastards that hurt her," Liv said facing two of her closest friends.

With a look of anger and pure vengeance both men said in unison "lets go get them."

All three knew without voicing that Patton was somehow involved in this, but this time he had picked the wrong family to mess with, he was going down and he wasn't coming back up.

Back in the squad room Olivia wasted no time. "I want cctv checked along the street Rollins car hit that truck, go to every single store if you have to and look at all the footage, then first thing in the morning why his still warm in his bed I want Patton brought into the office, drag him here in his pyjamas if you have too." "I want every person he spoke to, looked at or walked past questioned, every avenue checked and then checked again understood?" Both men nodded their heads it didn't matter how long it took or if they got no sleep they were gonna get those that hurt Rollins, they left the office with anger in their belly and determination showing in every sinew of their bodies.


End file.
